10 Tips For Piloting Mindful Positive Parenting In Toddlers
Parenting a toddler is another version of managing a teenager!
Toddlers become challenging because of their new-explored independence, ability to have preferences and determination to try their will on new things for the first time.
Toddlerhood is from the age of 12 months to 36 months.
The goal of positive parenting is to build a bond of trust with your child and raise a morally right, human being.
Toddler parenting is arduous, and using a positive parenting approach needs supreme patience!
We are sharing some tested and experienced tips for mindful positive parenting in toddlers.
1. PRESET GROUND RULES FOR ACTIONS
When it comes to behaving in a public place, explaining the rules, and expectations before-hand might save you from on-site scenes. The child should be clear about what not do and how to behave in specific places. These ground rules will avoid brand-new signals for the child and let him/her understand better. And when you remind the child to behave the pre-determined way, the resistance will be minimum or nil.
2. Be Consistent with love and Empathy
To shape a child in any manner, needs consistency. This is a time-tested and effective way. The expression of rules over any behaviour must be consistent and the same each time. Being consistent teaches the toddler to understand and follow the system and fall into the discipline. They also learn to stand by their word when they see you sticking to what you say every time. However, persistence should not be deprived of love and empathy because the child should not confuse consistency with stubbornness.
3. Let the Natural Learning take over
Remember the times when you keep asking, scolding and threatening the child to do something, and all they do is revolt! Natural learning is the development of the proper sense in your child by action-driven consequences. Let them learn a little hard way, by facing the outcomes of their action than you going nuts by saying "NO" a gazillion times. However, their safety mustn't be compromised for natural learning. They learn and imitate what they see. To teach manners also in its natural course make use of "please" and "thank you" every time to inherently let them learn these etiquettes.
4. Positive Boosting
Toddler parenting is not just about stopping them from doing things that might hurt them or imbibe discipline. Right parenting also means initiating the right sentiments in them that will lay the foundation of their being! For that, they need to explore the complete plethora of positive emotions. Shower them with love, motivate them when they do something good, raise their self-esteem when they complete their daily routine on their own! The words of appreciation will gradually drive them to do the good acts next time by themselves without asking them to. Never try to reward them materialistically for doing good, this will end up having a bad influence on their character and habits in the long run.
5. Decide when/what to let go of
Moderation is the key! Not every day can be the same and not every day you can ask the kids to act by the book. Positive parenting includes critical thinking and passing on this essence to your kids. There will be things and events where you might just have to let go and let them feel that they are in control. Some non-hurting activities, such as letting them wear their choice of weather-appropriate clothes, having a sit-down picnic instead of dining table dinner etc. should be allowed once in a while. They will learn the importance of routine and will cherish the cheat day. However, the things that are a matter of discipline and non-negotiable should be not be given in. Eating in bed, not hitting anyone etc. are never acceptable and should never be agreed to.
6. Give Assertive options
The toddlers who have found new authority over various elements are pretty much forming their preferences. They will most likely ignore direct instructions and requests. To sort this one out, you might try giving them options instead of instructions that will finally have the same outcome. Such as would you clean up now or after 5 minutes? Would you eat your dinner now or later? Will you make your bed now or later? They will feel valued that their words matter and learn to respect the opinions of others. Trust us, this works out most of the time.
7. Set timers or last calls
This is a basic manner that we all follow! informing before the last call. Inform your child before any activity is about to end. 'This is the last round of the game, we are leaving in 10 minutes, wrap up your toys as its time to bed' these words ring a bell that their current activity is going to end. It prepares them mentally to give it up when asked. The resistance will be less. they may even speed up to make most of their remaining Funtime. Timer for things set boundaries for ending activities on the right and happy note than howling and tantrum when asked to do something abruptly.
8. Avoid the wrong language at all times
As parents' conduct and behaviour have a lasting impression on the toddlers' mind, the choice of words and expression needs careful filtering. Being harsh or showing hostility might increase behavioural problems with time and age. Convey the same message with a positive approach for a better reaction. Choose positive words over negative words when explaining. Instead of "Stop lying to me! use please be honest with me". Avoid putting labels or shaming your child. These small actions will create a powerful impact on your kids and lead to better results in positive parenting as well as setting up model-mindful-positive behaviour.
9. Strategic Time-out
When at a times, you feel nothing is working and all positive parenting riders are going for a toss, learn to take time out. When you reach a stage when things aren't working out, tell the child that you need a moment for yourself and time-out of the whole episode happening. This will give you and the child to cool-down and will save you from reacting with anger and enter a yelling game. The aim of positive parenting is to discipline right, not end up in a power struggle that can teach a wrong lesson to the child.
Positive parenting does not mean not correcting your child at all, it is all about assertive reactions and teachings. Remember no amount of pampering and loving your child will spoil them. Not disciplining them in the right way and giving in to their action all the time in the name of love will.
They should learn to regard rules and regulations because it is right and not out of fear or pleasing anyone.
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